her sufferings
by elrainefigarette
Summary: Waiting for such a long time would hurt someone badly. But ... she tried. /coarse language, feelings huRT/ pokemon special/


**{Pairings/Characters:** Sapphire, Ruby, mentions of Emerald and Mitsuru

**Warnings:** Coarse language, angst

**Notes:** An What If AU, been edited by a friend

**Word count:** 1,157**}**

* * *

_before she even realized it, sapphire began to hate him...-_

It was pure loathing against _him, _Ruby, her childhood friend, rival... and now _fading_ crush.

_"Why fading?" _

She wondered that herself. But then she found the answer herself, as she kept waiting, waiting forever for Ruby to come to her and tell her how he feels.

She waited months, whole months, not really sure to confront him after her small mess-up and her being flustered... _But it never, NEVER happened. _

To be truthful it hurts a lot, _emotionally and mentally, more than any wounds that physically hurt her._

She began to wonder if he even cared about it...

**He probably didn't from his off-handed actions.**

She hated it when he came by her base acting like nothing was wrong in the world. Acting like they are just _'good friends'._

_Sure, she knows how he's hurting from all the crap of the Hoenn Incident and everyone dying. _**Hell,** she still has nightmares about it since then! But he had no right, _no fucking right to keep it to himself! _

She doesn't need protection; _she didn't need her innocence to be saved. HER innocence was all gone since her childhood;_ all she wanted to know _if HE liked her back...!_

But he took his fine time beating around the bush, _acting so falsely innocent when she saw right through it. _**It was obvious; **she knew he was scared of asking if she liked him as both of himself or his past self. To be honest, **Sapphire loved him for who he is.** _Yet he couldn't see it._

So he put on this freaking act just for her feelings to not get HURT. _He is suffering from his own doubts..._

And so is she. _SHE is suffering too. _Sapphire had her own sufferings, the feeling of being weak... but she got over it, and got over her feelings.

Now it was time for her to face herself and Ruby's stupid, ridiculous situation; it was time to tell him her feelings.

* * *

She found him in his usual spot in her base.

**Her personal base. **

Her base that he took over as a deal of '_being just friends..._' Her base that he touched up to fit his tastes.

Her teeth began to grit together as she saw him sewing clothes that she didn't need anymore.

_Honestly, she didn't even want the clothes anymore... _

Sapphire was glad.

Glad that Emerald or Mitsuru weren't here at the moment to be witnessing her getting … eruptive...

Because... right as he turned around... she might not have been calm anymore.

"_... Hey, Ruby._" she muttered quietly as her fists began to tighten.

So many statements and questions began to run into her head and at this moment she honestly wanted to break down.

She breathed in and out.. sighing... trying to calm herself down as he looked at her curiously.

"Oh! Hello, Sapphire!"

_How dare he say her name with calming ease. _

"I was waiting here for you!"

_Oh how unusual. _

"I wanted to see how this looks on-"

He stopped as he finally noticed how her body was shaking.

How she was trembling and her hands were turning white after being clutched into a ball.

How her fingers were digging into the palms of her hands so long that it was bleeding...

How her face showed all the emotions that were about to burst.

"_Sapphire...?_" he said her name slowly with uncertainty.

_And all she did is just stare right through him. _

"**_I've had enough. Just enough. Enough of your freaking crap,_**" she finally shouts.

Her loud, echoing voice didn't seem appropriate for the situation, but it was for her.

Her words left Ruby with a stunned look, so shocked and confused.

"Sapphire, I..."

"**_Don't 'Sapphire' me. _**I waited. I waited too many months. I tried. I fucking tried. Each time I did, you would just be a freaking jerkface and dismiss everything with '_I don't know what you are talking about, Sapphire._' or something like '_I don't remember._'"

She took a huge breath and let it out before continuing on.

"Guess what, Ruby. I, _SAPPHIRE BIRCH,_ HAD NIGHTMARES ABOUT THAT INCIDENT OF WHAT HAPPENED IN OUR CHILDHOOD. BUT I MANAGED TO STAND UP EVEN THOUGH I STILL FELT WEAK."

She pointed to herself and glared at him.

"_EVEN DURING AFTER THE ACCIDENT WITH THE LEGENDARY POKEMON, I HAD NIGHTMARES THAT I COULDN'T SLEEP._"

Her breathing was ragged and tired. She stared at her hands, where the blood started to dry.

"_... Ruby,_" Her voice became soft and said it sympathetically. "_... I like you._"

"I like you for you are. I don't even care about you are now or in the past. I care about everything about you." It was a small plea, just for him to take notice of.

The boy's eyes widened and he was struggling to say something. He was shaking and wanted to apologize for all what happened... but now Sapphire just didn't even care anymore.

She ran at him, pushing him onto the ground, and held him by the collar.

"Even though you are about to apologize for a million stupid things you did, I honestly don't care anymore." she muttered angrily. "It's kind of immature of me... I know that..."

"... You decided in the first place to beat around the bush, trying to freaking protect me from all what happened-WHEN I REMEMBERED IT CLEARLY, YOU ASSHAT. IT WAS FREAKING SELFISH. You may be suffering... a whole lot... since you saw it all..."

She stopped as she noticed tears falling from her eyes... and she turned around, throwing Ruby on to the ground like a doll.

"**... But... I suffered more.** I suffered just trying to bring it up, but it get pushed back at me when _YOU THROW EXCUSES AT ME. Yeah, I know it was scary. I know it was hard to bear it. But I was hurt... and what hurts me more? _That you are the pain of it all. _I really hate you so much, that... I don't even want to be near you...! It's painful._"

It was the final blow, and Sapphire began to throw everything that was Ruby's out of her base. Right as she was about to throw Ruby along with them, he meekly asked being a bit downcast, "... Can I still say sorry... for all your suffering I caused?..."

"I don't care anymore," she whispered. "If you tried to apologize, to do this or that, I just don't want to see you anymore. I hate you to the point I would kill you, but I'm restraining myself... Because it hurts. I'll get over it... _but I don't want to care about you anymore._"

As Ruby left, Sapphire sat alone in her base... muttering, "... I don't need to wait for him anymore... even though it hurts, I won't wait... because I already said my feelings."

* * *

**A/N: **Before you start to hate me, look at it at Sapphire's point of view. No one should be waiting that long. She gave hints. She tried her best. But Ruby? He didn't really say anything. It's not that I'm saying that it's Ruby's fault nor Sapphire's fault. It's no one's fault.

I'm saying no one should be waiting that long. It would hurt Sapphire so much. And I personally think if Ruby didn't say anything or drop the amnesia act he's doing, Sapphire will possibly leave him for someone else one day. Actually I wouldn't even be surprised if she just got tired and gave up on him.


End file.
